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10. If it happened in Vegas or at a bachelor(ette) party, it was all a figment of your imagination, doesn't count and thus should never be spoken of again. All photographic evidence must be destroyed before sunrise.
9. Dirty Sanchez, Cleveland Steamer, Chili Dog, Tuna Melt & etc: These vulgar, despicable yet hilarious sex acts should never be explicitly discussed, particularly during mealtime.
8. Sleeping with your friend's boyfriend, fiancé or husband. The saying "hell hath no fury like a woman scorned" will be fully exemplified to you when she mows you down in his Hummer.
7. Although you may bank on a lifetime's worth of your friend's imminent humiliation, never mention sex with your bud's divorcée mom or dad. Unless they can be classified as MILFs or DILFs. Then just tell everyone but your friend.
6. When the girl-next-door turns out to be viciously aggressive and gets off by punching you several times in the face while you're having sex. (If asked, DO blame the black eye on her jealous ex-boyfriend, who you later sent to the hospital.)
5. Doing the deed with your friend's kid sister. Unless you're going to marry her. After the wedding, you can say, "dude, I'm going to go fuck your sister." But only once.
Read the Top 4!
Next week's: Top 10 Instances NOT to Kiss & Tell
September 4, 2009
Last week's: Top 10 Crude Pick-Up Lines
August 21, 2009
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