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10. Make sure all guests are frisked for any recording devices prior to seeing you.
9. Destroy any old sex tapes, little black books, incriminating photos and letters, even if you were eighteen at a time. The past tends to find a way to sneak up on you... especially if you were a little rebellious.
8. Have a written alibi for any extracurricular activities involving even partial nudity, even if it's just with your doctor.
7. Delete any phone call records, text messages or e-mails exchanged between you and said party the moment it is read. All correspondences should be programmed to self-destruct after reading.
6. Learn to ogle women with your mighty peripheral vision, so you can't be suspected of sexual harassment.
5. In the event of a fallout and impending political disrepute, be diplomatic, and assert, "whoa, whoa, wait a minute. She came on to me!"
4. Send covert mercenaries to kidnap and interrogate anyone who has information that can blackmail you. If they confess to knowing anything, make sure they are extradited to Guam with a new name and identity.
3. Be smart. Sure, an affair with your new assistant is hot, now. But she has access to potentially damaging information and is in your office enough to be able to secretly place recording equipment, steal your files, or publish a tell-all book about your indiscretions, if you jilt her.
2. Trust no one.
1. Plead the fifth.
Next week's: Top 10 Sexiest Things a Woman Can Say to a Man
September 18, 2009
Last week's: Top 10 Instances NOT to Kiss & Tell
September 4, 2009
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