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(Besides porn with the pages all stuck together!)
10. A lone sock, hardened with the dried-up evidence of solo hand exercises.
9. A collection of videos with your ex-girlfriend’s name on the labels.
8. An airplane ticket stub from your return flight from Vegas, when she thought you were on a work conference in Connecticut for the weekend.
7. A copy of a fairly recent restraining order against your last girlfriend. Even though you weren’t really stalking her. That much.
6. Your last income tax statement. No matter what you’re making, the last thing you need is for her to know how much money you can (or can’t) spend on her.
5. A penis pump. ‘Nuff said.
4. An article ripped out of one of her magazines entitled “Why Men Love Bitchy Women”.
3. A picture of her mother/sister/best friend.
2. A pamphlet about ways to combat a pornography addiction.
1. Your (not so) little black book.
Next week's:
Top 10 signs you know your relationship is OVER
June 12, 2009
Last week's:
Top 10 worst ways to get caught fornicating
May 29, 2009
Have a great idea for a Top 10 list? Let me hear it! lexi@lexisylver.com.
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