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10. You get home and find your apartment lined with boxes of your stuff.
9. She calls to say she’s spending some time at her mother’s house… even though she once said she’d rather drink battery acid than spend another night under that woman’s tyrannical rule.
8. You call him while he’s on a trip to Amsterdam, and the naive man at the front desk says: “he just stepped out. Would you like to speak to Mrs. Smith instead?”
7. She starts wearing much sexier clothes just to do the groceries down the street.
6. You discover a pregnancy test in the garbage… but you haven’t had sex with her since the Presidential elections.
5. You drop by his office unannounced for a surprise quickie and find his personal assistant kneeling on the floor– and she’s not picking up fallen papers.
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