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Special thanks to Crash Adams!
3. The maximum amount of time required to bring your partner to orgasm should not exceed the amount of time spent having the sex itself (not including foreplay):
a) UNLESS the sex session is, in itself, short-lived (to be determined by her).
b) UNLESS there was nonexistent foreplay (tsk, tsk!). Then this rule is moot.
b) If exceeded, your partner is allowed to complain freely about neck pains, lockjaw, an over-exerted tongue, tired arms and carpal tunnel syndrome. And you aren't allowed to say a thing about it.
2. Teeth are useful for things like chewing, nibbling, biting, opening difficult plastic packages, and ripping tape. They should not be bared while wrapped around human meat. (Special note: pushing it down her throat without notice stimulates something called her "gag reflex" and will likely cause her to bite down.)
1. If you don't remember her name: a) don't guess b) don't ask c) don't call back.
Read the beginning of Sex Rules here!
Next week's: Top 10 Crude Pick-Up Lines
Last week's: Top 10 Fun Sex Facts
August 7, 2009
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